It has been 3 months since I wrote the blog post “What I hope Traveling gives to me: A New Beginning” and I want to revisit it and share if what I wrote back then has come to fruition in the me now.
Openness to One’s Self
This has probably been where I have seen the most personal growth. I am no longer hiding behind the outspoken, extroverted friend but instead I am the one speaking up. In fact most of the people I have met, I was the one that initiated conversation. It really only takes on sentence to make a friend while traveling and then you spend the day with a random strange turned friend. Every time I have spoken up I never felt embarrassed even if it did not go how I wanted it. I am learning that the world is not scary and people are inherently good and want to meet others just as much as I do. I used to even be scared just to place my order at a restaurant; now i order with a smile.
Goodbye Co-Dependency
I have learned that I am not co-dependent but instead I just love being social and in good company. In being in a relationship I was conforming to co-dependency but all I wanted was real companionship and friends. I was lonely and relied solely on my partner to fill that but ultimately it was unfulfilling in the end. Now as I solo travel I no longer feel alone even when there is no friends around. My alone no longer feels lonely and that is one of the biggest accomplishment I find in myself. Loving your alone is not always easy for people and it is a journey to get there but once you do there is so much you can accomplish. I am no longer co-dependent; just a social butterfly in the process of emerging.
Accept What Can’t be Controlled
Letting go of Control is something I am still learning to do but the improvement is significant. Before traveling I had the planning of the first two counties all done and many things already booked. I was scared to not have things book because I felt so much could go wrong; I wanted to make sure I had control of my situations. Now 3 months later I book things a couple of days in advance; a week tops. I am learning to let go a little and if one thing does not work out you just more on to the next. With that being said though, planning and not having control still gives me a lot of anxiety and tends to frustrate me. Once things are booked I am relieved but then my brain goes straight to the next thing that needs to get planned. Like I said I am still working on it.
Overall, I know 3 months later I am becoming a different person; one that I am happy to become. No longer a small peck of dust that hides but something that you see when the wind blows.
